29/9/23 ^^^ I am who I am

 Most importantly, I have to li[f]e (live) my story.  This is my life and I have to take it in lock stock and barrel.

If I want to be true to myself, I must accept myself as I am.  Even if I am the only one who does that.  If I cannot take it don't expect some dude around the corner will.

Everybody is managed by perceptions.  So I too have to manage my own perception about myself.  One thing is for sure, in whatever I do, I give it my level best.

Therefore, I can't be hard on myself for what is happening in External Affairs.  It's just a job.  I have done my job.  Now is the time to move on.

So that's what it is.  ONE TRIBE minus 1 billion (more like 500 million in this case).  What is the implication?  What is meant to be is meant to be.

There is nothing to say except I feel like a failure.  Lucky for them I had turned Wolfsschanze into a Place of Wind and Water.  Still, it doesn't change the fact that I failed in my mission.

Well, it is a test for me.  I did my level best.  That is what counts.  I was tested whether I Obey and Obey 7:7 and I did.  It may be deemed as crazy by others, but I can proudly say  I did my level best.

Nope, without a speck of doubt do I think I am crazy.  Perhaps during the psychosis, I was.  However, on other occasions, I am fully aware of my judgment,  Therefore I have no regret whatsoever.  If this is what it takes to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier, so be it.

So the verdict is, that the Stone Worshipers will end up in Wolfsschanze.  The Malays will end up in the ARENA.  That is final.  That had been decided a few months back.  This is the straw that broke the camel's back.

By the way, I am just a scribe.  The decision falls back to God.  As recently as this morning, he ordered me not to do the Hill Run.  It is not the ONE TRIBE that we initially planned.  Thus, it is not fair for those who deserved Xanadu to be bundled with the imbeciles.

I still want to do it.  That is the Last Train to London.  You miss that train, you miss London; figuratively speaking.  So I will do my level best to score 100%.  If I do this, I am going against a three-times direct order.  As if you Quran verse swapping people care...

The radio is saying, "...walaupun kita tak dapat 100%..."

That is the cue.  Still, I have to try my level best.  Against the vote of Alam Shah Alam, against God.  I stand alone.  Now, this is madness...

mm   

Very well, Ratu Ina... I concede.  No 21 km Bukit Kiara Hill Run.  My heart feels heavy.