It's not that hard really. Stick with 3N2Y
I think the hardest part is to accept that I am poor.
I still eat like a rich man.
Fuck, I don't feel like exercising.
So don't do it. Never be in a dilemma.
mm
Sunday, 2 July 2023
>>>#3/7/23 2 hours upon waking up, cortisol is at the highest
Need to exercise.
As you know, this whole period between 2023 and 2024 is about health and happiness. Unless I am healthy, I cannot be happy.
So my effort is toward exercising. It starts today.
This is like quitting cigarettes. I have to do it over and over again until I make it. I am fighting inertia. I need to be persistent.
Also, I cannot abandon the Blog. It is my lifeline.
The best part is I don't need to deal with anybody. BJ is the last in li[k]e (line). Even that I snipped him. So I have no issue snipping the rest of the human population.
I dreamed of being on a white training schooner. Then I bought a much smaller but faster schooner for myself. My schooner was caught by pirates. That was the time I woke up.
Somehow this dream reminded me of SJ&A. I want revenge.
Yes, I am not a vengeful person, but in this case, I want justice. "Justice will be served," said Ar Rahman 55.
So imagine, you live a life where all you[] prayers are answered. Surely I am not motivated to do anything. I already got what I want, Absolute Power.
mm
2/7/23 ^^^ BJ is 40 years of b[e]d (bad) influence
The only wa[s] (way) to quit dope is to stop seeing him for good. I am confident, if I can persist in not seeing BJ and RR, I am free of cigarettes and dope.
Dope drives me crazy (the radio mentioned "crazy" too). No matter what, I am convinced that I am the Chosen one. It's just that I had been under the influence of intoxicants.
With these patternicities, I am sure these are signs for me to take heed of. So we are already past that hurdle. The next step is to fight and w[ill] (work) all the way no matter how long it takes like quitting smoking.
So tonight we bury BJ and his dope. No more BJ forever and ever. I have to learn to handle stress without the need for dope. Together with him are RR and his cigarettes. I don't need any one of them.
This is a brutal game. This is Shogi. Where the only person that cannot flip is the king. The rest are guns for hire. So I will not cross to the dark side. Both Gold and Silver are potential threats. I can only rely on myself.
In God We Trust.
mm
2/7/23 *** It is tempting to see BJ, but I hold on to everything that I got
Give me another 2 months to break the Bronco. This is an addiction. I have to resist the pitcher plant. Once I get caught, I am done for. It is the pitcher plant pheromone. Just like vaping and gumming. All are addictive. I have a good 6 months to break the addiction. I have to do it to claim that I quit in 2024.
God, give me strength:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
The synapses are dying. If I overcome this, I will come up stronger.
Just hold on. This is a siege game. Just hold.
I am definitely depressed. However, if I persist, I will come out victorious.
Just do it. Act now... That is the only way, the Hellgramite Method.
HOOOOOOOOOOLD! No Nicorette no dope. I do this cold turkey.
Hacks Cough Drop to the rescue.
Without me realizing it, I am at war. This is the ultimate battle. To raze the dopamine synapses.
My victory starts now. If I win the siege, I win the battle. Oh, they loosened the grip.
Like that... Hold on when they tighten the grip. Never ever surrender.
mm
Saturday, 1 July 2023
2/7/23 *** Keep my enthusiasm high
That's the best I can do. Nothing beats the blog. So like AOE, I shrink my location to only one a[s] (and) do my very best to sustain its presence.
At the very minimum, I am to exercise using the lightest dumbbell today.
I got to feel like heaven since I already complete my mission.
Never lose the fighting spirit.
The number one disease is heart disease. Next is stroke. Next is diabetes. Next is cancer.
It all got to do with diet and exercise.
mm
>>>#2/7/23 July comes too soon
My life has been at a standstill these past 6 months. I need a new perspective. I need the mindset of an athlete. Of a champion.
I was a champion. I let it slide by me. I chose to be complacent. Beginning today, I will not let it happen. Urgh... So hard to get rid of inertia. I think of food all the time.
Fine, no more Nasi Lemak. I make a point not to buy nasi lemak this month.
Change the mindset like I change the mindset of a smoker.
Back to basics - 3N2Y. I need to have the drive.
I need my Mojo back.
I need to fight this.
mm
1/7/23 ### Time to snap out of complacency
I read books on keeping myself motivated. I have to Stay Hungry.
Run, Read, Write, Repeat
What happened to all those models?
I need to fight inertia. Turned out that inertia is worse than sleepiness.
This is already past Aidil Adha. Very dangerous sign.
Whatever I am doing is not producing results. I have to STICK TO THE KNITTING. Focus on what works.
I need a fresh perspective.
I cannot afford to be complacent.
Tonight after dinner, I'll walk for one hour.
The problem is walking is not enough. I need to run.
Otherwise, my time is running fast.
My life needs an overhaul. I need to think like a Cleaner. Not a Cooler or Closer. I need to think like a champion.
2023 is a doji year. Either I sink or I swim.
mm
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)