This blog was created on 30/6/23 as a chronicle to my weight lost journey. Currently it is 100 kg.
Thursday, 28 December 2023
Friday, 29 September 2023
30/9/23 ^^^ In normal circumstances I may be seen as indecisive
Alas, that is not the case. I am akin to an airplane pilot. I adjust my bearing based on the feedback that I got from the environment.
That is O.A.R.
- Outcome
- Acuity
- Response
The more information I got, the better the calibration.
I think the longest ding-dong I had with a decision is the one regarding the Stone Worshipers. Believe me, it's not that I am undecided. It's just, I want to make sure I am fair.
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>>>#30/9/23 I hold on to the notion that there is God and this God is fair
I strongly believe in this statement so much so that if God is not fair, then to me there is no god. This has been confirmed three times while I was in CCC writing this; three knocks or creaks if you prefer a less dramatic nuance.
We can debate on other things but I say, without fairness, there is no god. I am very sure of that.
Hence, my story is meant for me to take heed of the signs and lessons that specifically aimed to enlighten me on this matter.
For example, ONE TRIBE is a reality provided you Obey and Obey 7:7. Should you choose otherwise, then you are not part of ONE TRIBE. The idea of ONE TRIBE is already real to me based on the signs that God gave me especially the hoola hoop that Lizzie hung [] (at) the front porch. This is the same case when Lizzie rearranged Furqan to be upside down when she dusted my book selves.
Those are simple examples of how God communicates with me. There were at least three occasions where Lizzie just uttered words that relate to this mission and she didn't even know why she said it. One of them was the Mongolian Horde; A word that I used to describe my attack strategy. She simply blurted it out but when I asked he[] (her) why she said it, she just couldn't explain. I never mentioned the term Mongolian Horde to her before.
These are the few signs for me to take heed of. For example in the previous post I mentioned that I strive for 100% and in the radio coincidently the phrase "...walaupun bukan 100%..." came about. Signs are in abundance, all we need is to have the sensory acuity to recognize them.
In my case, I am naturally sensitive to my surroundings. I notice the small nuances around me. Pretty much like the movie Jason Borne. That is the gift God gave to me. I am a very perceptive person. So much so, that I can tell by the smell of a woman's body odor if she is menstruating. It's the smell of iron.
So I am not delusional in perceiving things that others don't see. I am Din Kenit 227. I am a micro person. I pay attention to details, much like Sherlock Holmes *o[f] (or) if you prefer the infamous Hannibal Lecter.
* Hahaha... Yeah right. "He said I can smell your cunt." - Jodie Foster, Silence of the Lamb.
Thus I take heed of the advice given by Lao Tzu last night, "In fighting monsters, you don't want to be the monster yourself." I don't [] (want) because of my stubbornness to score 100% I defy God. That will be the greatest tragedy of my life. For that, I thank Lao Tzu for diffusing a booby trap (why booby? I always wonder. Never mind, a private joke).
The term "booby trap" has an interesting history. It comes from the Spanish word "bobo," which means "fool" or "stupid." The term was originally used by pirates in the 17th century to describe simple but effective traps they would set on their ships to deter and catch would-be thieves or attackers. These traps were often designed to be deceptively easy to overlook, hence the name "booby trap" to suggest that only a "booby" or a fool would fall for them.
Over time, the term "booby trap" has come to refer to any concealed or disguised device or mechanism intended to harm, capture, or surprise someone who triggers it. The name has stuck, even though the concept of these traps has evolved beyond its pirate origins. So, the term "booby trap" has more to do with the element of deception and surprise than with body parts like legs.
Aaah... What would I do without Susan?
So there you have it. ONE TRIBE is real. As for the run, I will do a 21 km Run in Bandar Utama. It will be a 2-loop Mobius Strip or 88.
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29/9/23 ^^^ But of course! How can I be so blind... I HAVE MY ARMY OF SLYMAN/SOLOMAN!
This is where I should be focusing my effort. Why should I spend my energy on the naysayers? I have my own ONE TRIBE. Move along, move along.
Why do I always want a perfect score as far as ONE TRIBE is concerned? The dummies never learn and the smarties always find a way.
So I did not fail. This is not a Pass/Fail option. This is pushing to the brink. Do your level best. Who said I need to score 100%?
Hold on, I need to speak to Lao Tzu. Brb...
It's the longest talk I had with Lao Tzu. Basically, he said, "In fighting the monsters, be mindful not to be the monster yourself."
He is referring to the situation where I had been Obeying and Obeying 7:7 for the past 24 years. Don't let my desire to attain 100% be the reason why I become disobedient. Go with Wu Wei. Take what I can with the Army of Slyman/Soloman. As for the rest, I have another 18 years to work on them.
If it is not meant to be, then it is not meant to be. Don't burden yourself unnecessarily. Not only I don't have to do the Hill Run, he said, I don't have to go to Bukit Kiara anymore. I submitted my prayer at Sidrattul Muntaha and that is sufficient for now.
I am only responsible for my effort, not the result. Go ahead with the plan to run, run, run, and run but confine to the Valley of the Sleeping Dragon. I am supposed to undergo Anaguma Yagura Gakoi.
OK then...
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29/9/23 ^^^ I am who I am
Most importantly, I have to li[f]e (live) my story. This is my life and I have to take it in lock stock and barrel.
If I want to be true to myself, I must accept myself as I am. Even if I am the only one who does that. If I cannot take it don't expect some dude around the corner will.
Everybody is managed by perceptions. So I too have to manage my own perception about myself. One thing is for sure, in whatever I do, I give it my level best.
Therefore, I can't be hard on myself for what is happening in External Affairs. It's just a job. I have done my job. Now is the time to move on.
So that's what it is. ONE TRIBE minus 1 billion (more like 500 million in this case). What is the implication? What is meant to be is meant to be.
There is nothing to say except I feel like a failure. Lucky for them I had turned Wolfsschanze into a Place of Wind and Water. Still, it doesn't change the fact that I failed in my mission.
Well, it is a test for me. I did my level best. That is what counts. I was tested whether I Obey and Obey 7:7 and I did. It may be deemed as crazy by others, but I can proudly say I did my level best.
Nope, without a speck of doubt do I think I am crazy. Perhaps during the psychosis, I was. However, on other occasions, I am fully aware of my judgment, Therefore I have no regret whatsoever. If this is what it takes to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier, so be it.
So the verdict is, that the Stone Worshipers will end up in Wolfsschanze. The Malays will end up in the ARENA. That is final. That had been decided a few months back. This is the straw that broke the camel's back.
By the way, I am just a scribe. The decision falls back to God. As recently as this morning, he ordered me not to do the Hill Run. It is not the ONE TRIBE that we initially planned. Thus, it is not fair for those who deserved Xanadu to be bundled with the imbeciles.
I still want to do it. That is the Last Train to London. You miss that train, you miss London; figuratively speaking. So I will do my level best to score 100%. If I do this, I am going against a three-times direct order. As if you Quran verse swapping people care...
The radio is saying, "...walaupun kita tak dapat 100%..."
That is the cue. Still, I have to try my level best. Against the vote of Alam Shah Alam, against God. I stand alone. Now, this is madness...
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Very well, Ratu Ina... I concede. No 21 km Bukit Kiara Hill Run. My heart feels heavy.
29/9/23 ^^^ The dark cloud just passed
I need to sort out my schedule from this point on. Otherwise, I will have issues with my sleep.
I think I sleep at 11:00 pm and wake up at 7:00 am, Then I exercise at 8:30 am. That's it. I then run at 6:00 pm on MWF and lift weights on TT. Saturday I do elliptical and skip rope. Sunday I rest.
I need to sleep well. If not, I feel sleepy the entire day.
I am supposed to simplify my life. It has to be a balanced life.
I need to watch out for the Dark Depression. When it happens I am basically immobilized.
I still want to run the Bukit Kiara Hill Run. Now is to come up with a training program that is consistent.
I have to admit, I self-medicate with cigarettes today. It is pretty much an emergency situation.
I need to repeat the mantra; sleep well, move more, and eat right. I cannot compromise on my sleep. I almost gave up on the Hill Run just now.
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It's great that you're recognizing the importance of managing your schedule and prioritizing your well-being. Let's break down your goals and create a more balanced and structured daily routine for you:
Sleep Schedule:
- Sleep at 11:00 pm and wake up at 7:00 am: Ensure you stick to this schedule consistently to improve your sleep quality.
Exercise Routine:
- Exercise at 8:30 am: Great choice to start your day with physical activity.
- Running (MWF at 6:00 pm): Keep up with your running routine on these days.
- Weightlifting (TT): Incorporate weightlifting for strength training.
- Saturday: Elliptical and skipping rope for variety and cardiovascular health.
- Sunday: Rest day - vital for recovery and preventing burnout.
Mental Health and Stress Management:
- Be mindful of your mental health. Watch out for signs of depression and seek professional help if needed.
- Consider incorporating relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing exercises into your routine.
Smoking Cessation:
- Acknowledge that self-medication with cigarettes is not a healthy coping mechanism.
- Seek support to quit smoking, such as counseling, nicotine replacement therapy, or a support group.
Training for the Bukit Kiara Hill Run:
- Create a consistent training plan that gradually increases the intensity and duration of your runs.
- Make sure your training plan aligns with your overall schedule to maintain balance.
Healthy Living Mantra:
- Repeat the mantra: "Sleep well, move more, and eat right" to remind yourself of your wellness goals.
- Focus on a balanced diet to complement your exercise routine.
Emergency Situations:
- Identify healthier alternatives to cope with stress or emergencies, such as deep breathing, talking to a friend, or engaging in a favorite hobby.
Remember, consistency is key when it comes to maintaining a balanced and healthy lifestyle. Additionally, consider consulting with a healthcare professional or a personal trainer for personalized advice and support on your journey. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and make positive changes to support your mental and physical health.
29/3/23 ### Goofing around with Els
Well, welcome to the jungle.
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