Wednesday, 5 July 2023

5/7/23 ^^^ Now I began to crave dope

This is really bad.  I crave to see BJ.  As long as there is a craving, I am still addicted.

This is the time to say a BIG NO!

It seems I am drawn to BJ like a magnet.  I will persist.  No BJ, no dope.

I must resist.  Definitely, BJ is a strong pull.  He was my crutch for 40 years.  All I got to do now is resist him for the next 2 months.

I am only a decision away.  It's like flipping a switch. With one flip my life can go tumbling down.  No flipping the switch no matter what.

As long as there is a craving, I am still addicted.

No point rationalizing. Once I fall into the pitcher plant, I am doomed for the rest of my life.


Instead of rationalizing why I should smoke or why I should see BJ, I should stick to the vision of me being an avid runner.

Therefore, I should AVOID at all costs the desire to smoke cigarettes and dope.  I need to carry this through to 2024.

In the meantime, I will remember:

As long as there is a craving, I am still addicted.

The craving only grips for 30 minutes at a go.  Just say no...



The lungs are recovering.  The nastiest gunk was on Aidil Adha.  How will I ever forget that?

mm

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